Not sure how invested you are in the Thursday Night Football game between the Cincinnati Bengals and Miami Dolphins. Maybe you’re not even watching it and too busy with your little tyke’s going door to door begging for candy. Gridiron Experts loves Halloween, and for the pure fun of it we have created a NFL team Halloween Candy Comparison article.
Have fun and enjoy the night!
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Arizona Cardinals
Candy Comparison: Twizzlers
It’s like when you sit down trying to find a game… You come across the Arizona Cardinals and you say,”do I really want to watch this?” Then you end up watching the entire game because it’s on the tv and that’s just the way its going to be. When eating a bag of twizzlers, you keep eating until the bag is gone and you have no idea what happened.
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Atlanta Falcons
Candy Comparison: Kit Kat
Falcons fans are like, “give me a break.” Tony Gonzalez comes back and everyone is excited. Then Matty ice has a slower start than last year. Roddy and Steven Jackson get hurt and everyone is sad. Then Julio, Douglas and Gonzalez start making things look a little optimistic. Down goes Julio. After last year’s season, the Atlanta Falcons need a break.
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Baltimore Ravens
Candy Comparison: Ring Pop
Sometimes you get a Super Bowl ring and then, POP! it’s gone… like the talent in Baltimore.
Buffalo Bills
Candy Comparison: Hershey Bar
With all of the injuries to the Bills, they kind of seem like a plain ol’ NFL team. Just like a Hersey bar is just a candy bar. Nothing fancy, but hey it’s still chocolate.
Carolina Panthers
Candy Comparison: Super Bubble
You should see the way Cam Newton slowly pulls open this “super” bubble gum treat, while screaming…
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Chicago Bears
Candy Comparison: Gummi Bears
Really big, bad, fast, strong brown bears, or Gummi bears. Your choice fans, your choice.
Cincinnati Bengals
Candy Comparison: Sour Patch
Kids If you haven’t heard, the Bengals are a group of young players. They have been putting the pieces into place to take a real shot at being a contender. First their sour, then their sweet.
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Cleveland Browns
Candy Comparison: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
The fact that their colors are orange and brown just seems to work out here. There is basically two flavors on this offense. Jordan Cameron and Josh Gordon.
Dallas Cowboys
Candy Comparison: Sugar Daddy
No matter how hard people try to hate the Dallas Cowboys, it looks like they are going to be around forever. Looking at the standings in NFC East, the boys may be hovering around the top of that division the whole year as well.
Denver Broncos
Candy Comparison: Nutrageous
This team is putting together a great product by putting a lot of great ingredients into one.
Detroit Lions
Candy Comparison: M&M’s
Easy… Matthews to Megatron
Green Bay Packers
Candy Comparison: Pez
It doesn’t matter who gets hurt, the Green Bay Packers somehow keep throwing up talent out of nowhere to keep the goodness coming.
Houston Texans
Candy Comparison: Lemon Heads
You turn on a Texans game and it just makes your face scrunch up. It seems like the kind of candy that should be a little bit better, but its really just bad. Once it gets good, it’s too little, too late.
Indianapolis Colts![]()
Candy Comparison: Almond Joy
I tasty treat that some love and some hate. The point is the star of the treat/team is right smack in the middle calling all the shots.
Jacksonville Jaguars
Candy Comparison: Dental floss
Everyone avoids the dentist that gives out dental floss on Halloween, just like everyone is trying to avoid being considered a fan of this dreadful team.
Kansas City Chiefs![]()
Candy Comparison: Payday
8-0, ‘nough said.
Miami Dolphins
Bazooka Bubble Gum
Starting off the year 3-0 and then finishing the first half 0-4 is exactly like chewing a piece of bazooka bubble gum. Fir the first couple of minutes that piece of gum is great, but then it tastes like you are eating paper.
Necco Wafers
When you look at the Necco, it looks delicious, but then you take a bite into it and it tastes like chalk. That’s the feeling you get after watching a Vikings game, like you have just taken a big bite out of chalk. Gross…
Candy Comparison: Butterfingers
Kenbrell Thompkins, Aaron Dobson and Julian Edelman have combined for quite a few dropped passes. Still, the Pats are finding ways the great taste of wins.
Candy Comparison: Hot Tamales
The New Orleans Saints are 6-1. They have been putting up great offensive numbers and their defense looks far better than it did last year. They are one hot tamale!
Candy Comparison: Whoppers
There is a lot of talent on this team, but somehow the record reads: 2-6. Two straight wins is great, but these whoppers are going to have step up to make a difference at the end of the year.
Candy Comparison: Circus Peanuts
This team of misfits has slowly climbed their way to a 4-4 record. Who is going to score in a given week? No one knows. What we do know is the Jets performances can only be likened to a three ring circus.
Candy Comparison: 3 Musketeers
Terrelle Pryor, Darren McFadden and Denarius Moore. There isn’t really anyone else for the Raiders and they are going to need these guys to step-up in a big way to propel the Oakland offense.
Candy Comparison: Jaw Breakers
This one was too easy. Which QB is going to get hurt next?
Candy Comparison: Werther’s Original
When you go to grandpa’s house, he gives you a “hard candy” which is usually a Werther’s Original. The only reason you are cheering for the Steelers this year is because your grandparents cheered for them when you were a kid.
Candy Comparison: Crunch Bar
Nothing over the top. Plain, simple and nothing left to the imagination…
Candy Comparison: Nerds
Kaepernick tries to kiss his bicep when he gets in the end zone. After doing it last week, all I can think is, NEEERRD! Not only that, but if the Niners as a team are doing things like, shaving their hair into mohawks and wearing sunglasses inside the ESPY awards, I just have to shake my head. Good team though guys, good team. Who thinks the Niners are cool? NOOOOOOO-body.
Candy Comparison: Skittles
See; Marshawn Lynch
Candy Comparison: JuJube
When you get a box of JuJubes, you know its instantly going in the trash, which is where the Rams season is headed.
Candy Comparison: Airheads
Seriously, these guys need to just play some football and stop acting like a bunch of girls playing powder puff.
Candy Comparison: Everlasting Gobstopper
If you want to gob your way to fantasy wins, Chris Johnson is a bonafide gobstopper!
Washington Redskins
Candy Comparison: Now and Later
They are going to put up a bunch of points now and take control of the game… later, we’ll just have to see what happens…
Shawn Luskey | NFL Team Halloween Candy Comparison - Gridiron Experts